March 31, 2017

FRIDAY, MARCH 31st, 2017 - Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.

SATURDAY, APRIL 1st, 2017 - 4:30 – 5:15 - Beach Jazz & Reflection featuring Lara Solnicid Trio “On a Clear Day … “ Beach United Church Wineva & Queen

SUNDAY, APRIL 2nd, 2017 - Fifth Sunday of Lent – join us for morning worship at 10:00 – Rev. Katherine McCloskey leading.

MISSION CAPSULE: “I was happy and relieved that my disease was diagnosed and that it was curable!” The gratitude Sher felt after getting answers to his health concerns and medicine to treat his leprosy is inspiring. But the road to recovery had an uncertain start. In an effort to heal a mysterious lesion on his foot, Sher tried a variety of herbal remedies. But the wound continued to fester. “I was in distress. I knew something was wrong.” Sher was referred to a PWS&D supported clinic in Nepal where he was finally diagnosed. Though anxious at first, health workers comforted Sher and explained his treatment options. Now cured -- and equipped with the knowledge and support to build a healthy future - Sher has peace of mind.

MONDAY, APRIL 3rd, 2017 - 7:00 - Theology on Tap Book study continues – NOTE – it will be at The Beacher, Queen & McLean and NOT at Castro’s.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5th, 2017 - Lenten Noon hour meditations at St. Andrew’s – 12 noon – organ recitals; 12:15 – meditation – with Rev. Deb Rapport, of Arise ministries – 12:45 – lunch

SUNDAY, APRIL 9th, 2017 - Palm Sunday Jazz Service - followed by LUNCH - and at 1:00 a Service of Recognition for Rev. Katherine McClosky’s ministry at Beaches.

THURSDAY, APRIL 13th, 2017 - 6:00 - Maundy Thursday Pot Luck meal and Tenebrae service

FRIDAY, APRIL 14th, 2017 - Good Friday service at 10:00

FRIDAY, APRIL 14th, 2017 - 7:30 - Final concert of the 2016/17 season of the Toronto Beach Chorale at Kingston Road United Church. They will present W.A.Mozart’s Requiem – plus Coronation Te Deum in D major by Antonio Salieri – they will also welcome a professional orchestra and soloists. Actors will read, in costume, a selection of dramatic monologues from the play “Amadeus” by Peter Shaffer.

SATURDAY, APRIL 22nd, 2017 - 7:00 - Lost Pilgrims in concert at St. Mark’s Presbyterian Church, Don Mills – in support of Arise Ministry. 6:00 – Wine & Cheese (cash bar) – tickets $25:00

SATURDAY, APRIL 29th, 2017 - Spring Thaw Concert at Beaches – featuring Julian and the band – proceeds to Truth and Reconciliation Ministries.

MORE EDUCATED MIND PUNS

If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards a plane. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam.”

Two Inuit sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Have a good week – come to church - MB